I really loved my pet rock.
He was so quiet and shy.
He'd just sit wherever I put him
and never whimper or cry.
Without a doubt he was my best friend
always listening so quiet and nice.
He'd hear me out to the end
and never gave me bad advice!
Then came the famous Christmas Eve
I would lay awake waiting for Santa.
I needed to know when he arrived
so by the fireplace I peeled a banana.
I heard the thump and jumped to my feet
to run downstairs and see the big clown.
When my pet rock jumped out of his seat
and hit the floor like a bomb!
I kicked my rock and ran right down
to find out my worst fear was true.
My rock had scared him, Santa was gone!
I felt so low and blue.
Then things got worse, I saw my Dad
on the floor holding the banana peel.
Then Mom ran in and asked what was wrong.
The anger in Dad's words I could feel.
I ran back upstairs and found my rock
and told him what he'd done.
He looked back at me like a cold ice block,
just sitting there looking dumb.
All at once I could understand
what my rock did that Christmas Eve.
Why he did it I just couldn't understand.
My pet rock had rejected me!
I put on my clothes and got him back
by burying him in the snow.
I hoped by spring he'd just disappear
to some place I didn't want to know!
When spring came and the snow went away
in the back yard that rock I could see.
But that was OK 'cause my Christmas pup
adopted him as a favorite place to pee!
The up side is that the lessons I learned
I will carry in my heart to the end.
Rocks are cold, cruel, horrible pets,
but dogs really are man's best friend.
Copyright © 1996, by Dale J. Abbe